Managers

Images in this post are a collaboration between OpenAI DALL-E and me on how a manager doing deep work should look like. There’s still room for improvement. I don’t think a laptop would last long without a serious waterproof case. I didn’t want to insist on that. I tried to explain to it that it’s important that the face mask and oxygen tank are connected, but it didn’t really get it. We’re working on it.

Disclaimer

I was never a manager. I don’t want to be a manager. Ever. I don’t know anything about management.

I’m not discussing my previous managers’ manager-fu. I don’t have any idea if my managers were good at their job. My assumption is they were. (Otherwise they would be fired. Right?) In this post, I’m talking about lessons I learned from my managers.

My managers are real people, with real feelings. I like all of them. It’s not my goal to hurt their feelings. I want to be as honest as I can without hurting anybody. If any of my managers are reading this and are hurt by anything, please let me know. I will rewrite or remove any such text. (If you don’t know how to reach me, there’s a feedback section at the end.)

Introduction

My manager left the company recently. He was my manager for many years. We were working together on a team before he became my manager. Losing a manager was stressful. As people do when stressed out, I was thinking a lot. About work, managers, life, universe, meaning of it all and things like that.

My team created a goodbye slideshow. Every person created one slide, added a funny image and wrote a few words. I was thinking about what to write. I had a few ideas but none of them were any good. People from my team were thanking him for various things. I thought thanking him for something is a good idea. But what one thing to thank somebody for, when you knew them for years? (Almost a decade.) So many things happened. I probably forgot most of them.

In one of my last meetings with him I remembered that he recommended a few books over the years. One of them changed my life. Finally, I had an idea on what to thank him for. (Hint: the funny photo on my goodbye slide for this manager shows a diver cutting a tree with a chainsaw under water.) (I could have used one of the image generating tools to create the photo. I did it the old school way. I hired a diver that could cut a tree underwater and took a photo.)

After I realized what is the one thing I could thank this manager for, I reflected on my previous managers. My first manager was managing me a couple of decades ago, so it was not an easy task. But, I did remember him. Then, I thought about my other managers and I realized I learned at least one lesson from each of them.

The first draft of the post focused on managers. (Manager #1, manager #2…) I got feedback from several people that focusing on managers is invading their privacy. It could also get them or me in trouble. So, I decided to focus on lessons learned, not the managers.

Lesson 1: Be there for people in your life

There will be good times. There will be bad times.

Since I started working, many things have happened. I got married. I moved. Twice. My family grew by several kids. There was a worldwide pandemic. My city was hit by an earthquake. Twice.

My managers were always there for me.

I’ll make sure to help others in my life. If I can’t do anything else, I can at least give them some of my time and just listen. (Some of my colleagues live in different countries. Some of them live on different continents. Sometimes you can’t do anything but talk to them.)

Lesson 2: Treat others with respect

I left a couple of companies at a time when that created trouble for my managers. Both times, my managers have treated me and my decision with much more respect than I expected. In both cases, they made the transition easier for me. They were in a position to make the transition harder, but they chose the other way.

In one case, my manager gave me good advice on how to handle the transition. In another case, my manager helped me start my own business by giving me a laptop.

I will treat others with respect. Even when they make my life harder.

Lesson 3: Personal productivity is not something you have to figure out yourself

Smart people have written books about it.

One manager recommended Getting Things Done by David Allen. I have read it. My mind was blown. My life has changed. Forever. For better.

One book recommendation can change somebody’s life. Isn’t that amazing?! (If the book recommendation is given timely and taken seriously. If the person reads the book and decides to change something in their life.)

Lesson 4: Personal productivity is not something you learn once and you’re good for life

One manager recommended Deep Work by Cal Newport. As with Getting Things Done, Deep Work changed my life. There’s plenty of good ideas out there. Mostly in books.

I will surround myself with smart people that read a lot of good books. I will take notes when they recommend a book. I will read as much of those books as I can. One of them might change my life.

Lesson 5: Don’t prioritize job security

One manager was very protective of his job. If he was the only one that knew something, or could do something, he could not get fired. At that company, my job would be much easier if I had more autonomy. Unfortunately, for many routine things I had to wait for him. He was very busy so everything was taking much longer than needed.

I don’t want to prioritize job security.

I’ll do my best to teach others how to do my job. At least in software, there’s always more work than people to do it.

Lesson 6: Don’t work too hard

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind working hard. I think working hard is one of the most important things that will improve your career.

But, there’s a limit. Don’t work way too hard. Work is important, but it’s not the most important thing in the world. There has to be a balance between work and other parts of your life.

Working too much is not good for you. It can lead to health problems. It can cause problems in your relationships.

One of my managers didn’t take any vacation for about a decade. That’s working too hard.

I will rest. I will not work all day. I will not not work all week. I will rest for at least one day a week. Two is better. I will take several weeks of vacation every year. At least once a year, I will take two or three weeks of vacation.

Lesson 7: Don’t prioritize work over family

One manager gave me advice to move to another country because that would be the best thing for my career. That’s what he did. It was good for his career. I’m not sure if it negatively affected his family.

I don’t want to make life decisions that will be good for my career but bad for my family.

Lesson 8: Speak up when you see something wrong

At one company there was something wrong going on internally in the company and my manager was one of the people that spoke up. The problem got resolved, eventually. It would not get resolved if people didn’t speak up.

I didn’t know about my manager’s involvement in resolving the problem, or about him risking his job. He casually mentioned it a few years later in a conversation. It left a lasting impression on me.

A few years after that, the company had some internal trouble again. Many people spoke up. I was one of them. The problem got resolved, eventually. It would not get resolved if people didn’t speak up.

If my manager hadn’t set up the example a few years before, I don’t know that I would have the courage to speak up. Possibly others too.

I will speak up when I see something wrong. Even if I risk losing my job.

Conclusion

I imagine one of my past managers reading this. If he’s one of the managers that didn’t recommend a book that changed my life, I hope he’s thinking hard about his life choices.

I imagine one of my future managers reading this. I can see them frantically flipping through books they’ve read. They even consult vast amounts of book notes they have. All that to get on an exclusive list of managers that recommended a book that changed my life.

I have learned valuable lessons from every manager I had. Sometimes it’s about life choices to make, or not to make. Sometimes it’s a book that changed my life. I hope the trend of learning from my managers will continue. In a decade or two, I hope I will write about lessons I have learned from the managers that are yet to enter my life.

Feedback

Years ago I had comments enabled on my blog. For the last few years, there is no way to comment. If you would like to provide feedback, email is the best way. My address is my first name at this domain. I can’t promise a response time, but I will do my best to reply to all feedback.

Reviewers

If I ever needed feedback on a blog post, this is the one. It’s about real people. It could get them, or me, in trouble. I would like to thank Denny Vrandečić, Greg Grossmeier, Kosta Harlan and Jean-Rene Branaa for their feedback. This post is better because of their feedback. Without the feedback, this post would probably get me fired.